"Who wants to race? Anyone? No one? Eh. I'm not surprised. No animal could ever beat me in a race." Tortoise rolled his eyes as he creeped by the woodland animals gathered around Hare. "What was that Tort-y?" Tortoise HATED that nickname, but he kept creeping along. Don't pay him any attention, Tortoise. He is not even worth it. "Ohhhh Tort-y Tort? Not gonna join the party?"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT, HARE!!" Ohh man. I snapped.
"Okay Tort-y. I'll make you a deal. You. Me. The East Trail. From the Old Oak to the edge of the creek by Mystic bridge. If you can beat me, I will never call you that again. But if you lose... I will make sure to greet you with that nickname every day. You will never win. Do NOT take that deal.
"Deal!" What? What is wrong with you, Tortoise? Hare cackled.
"I'll see you at sunrise, Tort-y," Hare said as he hopped away, still cackling. The woods were silent. Fox broke the silence.
"Uhhhhh, Tort.. Why did you do that? I lost to Hare two weeks ago. He wouldn't quit making 'What does the Fox say?' jokes. I was so angry, and not even my adrenaline could win that race." Before Tortoise could even respond, Doe piped in.
"You're doomed, Tortoise. I think you should just back out now. Save your dignity." Tortoise took a deep breath to calm down.
"Look guys. I appreciate the advice, but I will not take this anymore. It's time we stand up against Hare. He's a bully. He doesn't run us." The woodland animals whispered among themselves as Tortoise crept away.
Woodpecker spoke aloud, shaking his head and saying, "He's a fool..." The other animals nodded in agreement before heading back to their homes, ready to get some sleep before the race in the morning. Tortoise tossed and turned. He could not fall asleep to save his life. He was too nervous about the race. Meanwhile, Hare was fast asleep, dreaming of crossing the finish line in record time.
The sun was rising. The animals began to arrive at the Old Oak. Hare was hopping around, warming up for the race. "Little Tort-y probably won't even show," Hare announced.
"I'm over here you cocky fool," Tortoise said from the other side of the trunk of the Old Oak.
"Oh yay! I am so glad you showed, Tort-y! This should be fun," Hare exclaimed as he flashed an evil smile. Let's do this Tortoise! Show 'em what you're made of! Hare interrupted Tortoise's personal pep talk. "Okay, who shall send us off? Fox? Doe?"
"I'll do it!" Squirrel squeaked from the tree branch.
"Fantastic! I love the enthusiasm Nutty!" Hare smiled up at Squirrel as he rolled his eyes. Hare and Tortoise lined up at the sticks that Doe had put together.
"On your marks... Get set..." CRACK. Squirrel snapped a tree branch to commence the race.
Hare was off. He disappeared over the hill in a matter of seconds. Tortoise gave his best effort to get a quick start but to no avail. Who am I kidding? This was a huge mistake.
"Pssst." Squirrel interrupted Tortoise's pity party. "Head left," Squirrel whispered from atop the branch. Tortoise looked at Squirrel skeptically. What is he talking about? Squirrel widened his eyes so Tortoise would get the hint. I know I will lose if I run straight... Soo... I guess listening to the crazy squirrel is better than accepting defeat. So Tortoise headed left.
Hare was bounding through the woods, full speed ahead. He was almost halfway to the finish. Hahahaha! I am the quickest of them all! Hare encouraged himself as he sped ahead.
A few meters after Tortoise changed directions, he realized that the crazy squirrel wasn't so crazy at all. He heard running water near the bushes, but there was no water in sight. Then it hit him. It rained three days ago. The water levels of the creek were rising last I saw. Tortoise followed his suspicions and walked toward the noise. Then he saw it. A TRIBUTARY! When the creek overflows, it creates tributaries branching off of it. This one led straight to the bridge. He darted (slowly) toward the water and slunk in.
Hare approached the finish line. The animals were crowding the line as they awaited the winner's arrival. Hare stopped just short of the edge of the creek as he called to the crowd. "I am the winner! I am the quickest! You all should just stop trying! I run this neck of the woods. There is no one quicker."
"You sure about that? Hare-y?" Hare snapped his neck toward the voice behind him. It can't be. Hare was in disbelief. "I... You... Cheater! You cheated!"
"The rules clearly stated that the race would commence at the Old Oak and end at Mystic Bridge. The path of the race was at the discretion of the participant," Tortoise smirked as he winked at Squirrel, sitting on the rail of the bridge. The woodland animals laughed and cheered. "Quick minds beat quick feet any day... Hare-y."
Author's Note: The original story begins with Hare bragging about his speed, but the tortoise confidently challenges him to a race. Hare quickly accepts, thinking it will be an easy win, but the story ends with tortoise winning the race due to his persistence and slow and steady pace. Hare's cockiness gets the best of him as he lolly-gags and falls asleep during the race, allowing Tortoise to win. In the original story, Tortoise is confident, but I wanted to give him a nervous personality to make the victory even sweeter when he conquered his bully. I maintained Hare as the antagonist, but I exaggerated his bullying to create a greater desire for Tortoise to win. I understand the lesson being taught by Aesop's original fable, but let's face it. Slow and steady does not always win the race. I wanted to teach another lesson with my story, one that encourages critical thinking and teamwork as Squirrel and Tortoise collaborated, as well as discourages bullying and cockiness.
Bibliography: The Hare and the Tortoise from The Fables of Aesop by Joseph Jacobs. Web Source.
Image: Tortoise beats the Hare, OvationPress
I wasn't expecting him to take another route! Like you said, I thought you would follow the traditional story where the hare falls. That being said, I liked the twist you threw in! It was different and unexpected and you also incorporated the lesson very well. I also liked how you wrote the characters; it was easy to see how anxious the tortoise was and the hare was so arrogant that it was actually a bit annoying. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI have always loved the story of "The Tortoise and the Hare". I loved how you took the original story and didn't change it too much but made it your own with just a few twists. I like how you added more contexts and explanation for why the story played out the way it did such as the tortoise taking a different route. I also liked how you added in the taunting by the Hare; it definitely fits with his personality. All around great story!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very inventive way to rearrange the original story and I truthfully like yours better! I understood the message intended in Aesop's fable but I didn't really find it believable. The hare was boasting about his speed and how nobody would beat him but he would be ignorant enough to just lie down and nap in the middle of a race? Obviously the idea of a hare egging on a tortoise and bragging about his physical merits is slightly silly to begin with but I felt like the aspect of the original story where the hare just randomly took a nap was just "too" silly. I love how you told yours with the tortoise finding a different way to win because he knew he was too slow to beat the hare in a "running" race.
ReplyDeleteAwe the Tortoise and the Hare, a classic children’s tale that always brings back memories for everyone of the first time the story was read to them. I like the change you made to the opening of the story, adding in the race being over Hare’s nickname for Tortoise that he hates like nothing else. The purpose behind the race seems like it belongs on a school playground, the time period where most of us read the story. The causal “what does the fox say” reference genuinely made me chuckle when reading the story; it was executed in a perfect way. It took me a few lines to realize the sentences written in italics corresponded to what Tortoise was thinking during the story, a feature I really enjoyed. The twist ending was really unexpected and nice change from the traditional tale typically told and it made me go, “wow” why didn’t I ever think of such simple, but perfect revision. Overall a wonderful read.
ReplyDeleteI love your interpretation of this story! Most people know the traditional story, as well as the lesson that goes a long with it, so I really like that you put your own personal spin on it, like how the tortoise worked together with the squirrel, and how the hare was such a bully. You’re right, it definitely made me want to root for the tortoise even more.
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